Saturday, May 22, 2004
Why
You see.. there is no way for you to argue. I have been faithful all this while. and i didnt do anything to betray you. Why arent u believing what i told you?
Why can u still not see it from my point of view? i can see it from yours but u still CANT see it from mine. why? i am not trying to argue with you, merely hoping to find the understanding. But its not happening. why.
I KNOW you have been faithful, and i BELIEVE you, but y can you not see it, that to me it hurt! it really hurt very badly when you made plans to go out with another girl without even telling me! you just went ahead and made plans with another girl without even considering me! or even bothering to tell me. Cant u see? Cant u see?
To you its no big deal but to me it is! why cant u see that? y?
To me, you are taking me for granted and you do not care at all how i feel. IT really hurts me badly! and how you treated me after that hurt me even more!
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|N| 10:52 AM|
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With Downcast eyes
I don't know how everything so right, turned ever so wrong. Just a few hours ago, i was checking for flights to Perth for the both of us, and with one phonecall, everything came crashing down before i had time to brace myself.
Firstly, i want to say I'm sorry if i hurt you, or embarassed you that was not my intention.
But i dont think you understand or comprehend the serverity the entire situation was for me. To me, it wasn't because you were out with dirah that hurt me so badly. It was, that you went to meet her behind my back. You did not bother to tell me, nor ask me if it was ok with me, before you agreed and met her.
When i called, i thought you were home, or playing basketball with the guys, then, i heard the clear laughter of a female in close proximity to you. At that point, my heart dropped. When i asked, who was that, you said, "oh its dirah".
At that moment, you cannot imagine the hurt in my eyes, and my heart. Can't you place yourself in my shoes?
To you, it may seem like nothing. You're just going out with dirah, and she asked you, so its ok that you met her. But try feeling it from my point of view and through my eyes. You are going out with another girl, and you didnt even bother informing me. The hurt i felt at that point really cut me. You didnt care how i would feel, nor respected me enough, to even tell me.
I hurt so so bad.
Do you know that my biggest fear of leaving for australia is that you will go out with other girls behind my back while i am away. If you remember, this exact thing happened exactly one year ago when i was away for two weeks. You went out with another girl, QY, behind my back and i only found out by chance weeks later. That incident hurt me so badly...
And today, this happened. Imagine my feelings. Why cant u understand?
To you, you don't see it as any big deal, but to me, its a feeling of betrayal. that's the feeling i experienced. its like even before i can leave, you are already doing as you please, with no regard for me.
You even told me its no big deal, and that i'm unreasonable. That you have not done anything wrong, and instead indicate that i am being unreasonable.
You even hung up on me. And after that, not answer any of my calls, and even proceed to hurt me even more by saying "You don't have to call me anymore", "i just said, Dont call me."
You are the one who went out with another girl. not me. why is it as though I am the one who has hurt you and betrayed you. you always do this, you make yourself, the victim, even though you hurt me instead.
Everyone is different, and every person sees things differently, but why cant you understand, or see this through my eyes. Why don't you feel my pain, or feel my heart.
Someone
This is someone who loves you with all her heart,
This is someone who accepts you for the person you are,
This is someone who has always held your hand,
But most of all... ...
someone who has given you... her heart.
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|N| 9:40 AM|
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Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Oh Yeah!
i just found out that its possible for my dad and boyfriend to join me in Perth for the first 1-2 weeks! oooohhhh yeah! =) so happy. Thank God for this. Hope everything works out well =)
happy happy happy.
just began painting my room, its not done yet though =) well, its looking good, and i cant wait. in the mean time, shopping is on my list of to do's . =)
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|N| 10:04 AM|
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Tuesday, May 04, 2004
A Chapter Closes
the exams are over! yay, no more late nights, no more memorising, no more studying! oooohhhh yeah! shopping here i come!!
=)
hehehe
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|N| 9:34 AM|
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Sunday, May 02, 2004
the HIGHLIGHTED entry
ahhHHHhhhHHHHhhhh..... my final paper is on tuesday and its absolutely killing me!!! i cant wait for it to be over. =P ive been homebound for the last 4 days studying for this major 40% paper and i think staring at the 4 walls are driving me absolutely nuts!
i cant wait to go out in the sun, breathe the fresh air and shop! i have yet to pick up my reserved hipster jeans, and my red top.
Can't wait to get my highlights done, new specs, and grab my wayyyyyyyy overdue foundation and lipstick.
also hv to get my passport renewed and my application for uni finalised, paint, decor and rearrange my room!
sooooo much to do, soooooo little time.
save me from my books!!!!!
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|N| 1:24 AM|
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