Blue Coffee
Righ now i should be majorly concerntrating on my studies with the impending test due tomorrow, but my heart and mind are so far away. With what you might ask, with thoughts about d and me.
And maybe just maybe if i pen it all down, i would be able to channel concerntration back into my work. i have been bogged down by thoughts about our possible future, and to date, i must say nothing has been confirmed in our lives, even though we are both in a commited relationship. one of the silent issues in our relationship which has not been entirely dealt with has to do with religion. D is a Christian and goes to church weekly, and we're happy together. However, we have to be realistic. D comes from a essentially Buddist family, of which his grandmother has broken up his uncle and his wife, because she was a Christian, even after they got married. This sets me thinking. Even though, i think his parents would not go to that kind of extreme, i know that this issue is still an issue with them, and will be an issue in the future.
the thing is when a couple gets married, the guy's family will naturally expect the girl to be obedient to the in-laws and follow suit with their beliefs. even if i do not believe in it, im sure they will expect me to do and follow suit with the rites if the need calls for it, be it a funeral, or routine grave visiting. In their eyes, this will be an issue about me respecting them, and if i do not, it is as though im giving them no respect. The thing is, this is not about respect, i do respect them, and if i marry into the family, i will love them as my own, however, my religion is something i cannot compromise. I love my Jesus, and He is my life. My religion is the core of me, and Jesus is what makes me who i am. When i'm down, it is my relationship with God that raises me up. I am happy everyday, because i know i have my Jesus, and a clear conscience which allows me to part take in the Holy Communion once every month.
If i compromise my beliefs, i will be loosing myself. i cant. i just cant.
And i know what my d will say, its up to me, he won't force me, but the thing is, like it or not, this WILL pose as a strain to our relationship. i cannot expect him to be standing in the middle of his parents and me.
And i firmly believe that for a couple to be happy together, about such fundamental issues, both people should be able to be in concensus about it, and stand on firm ground together. the thing is, i think/know what my d will say. if his parents and sister persuade and ask him to go through the rites for them, out of respect of them, he will. the thing is i cant accept this. i understand why he would do it, i really do, but i cant accept it, because i know that at the end of the day, both of us will be unhappy due to issues like this. it is definitely going to cause friction between us. And if so, aren't we in a relationship bound to fail? it is only a matter of time.
Right now, the harsh reality is staring me in the face. the only sensible and mature thing to do, is for dd to have a serious talk with his parents. to let them know that he is serious about me, and even though we aren't thinking of settling down just yet, these are the issues, will they be able to accept them. outta respect for them, we have to let them know, and depending on their reactions, we will have to decide what to do with our relationship.
so u see... im blue...
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Off-a-Jetting!
YAHOOooooOOOOooo, im off to melbourne!!!! ok not today, but from Sep 25-Oct5! =) for a four day church convention, and the remaining days to visit the state! i can't believe im actually going! I'm estatic all the boundaries are cleared. =) God is Good. =)
On an entirely different note altogether, yesterday i had a really good laugh. a friend of mine happened to show his japanese friend a photo we took together, and that girl, for some reason seems to think that i look like ayum.i hamasak.i! Goodness! my housemate and i had sucha good laugh over that. the best part was that he agreed! i nearly died. anyhoo, it was a nice distraction from my extremely boring text. i have a test this thursday which is sucha drag. i should be studying, but im dead tired, and i miss my d tremendously, another 4 days of no contact, due to another outfield camp. =(
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Despite being on my break week, i have not been shopping much, yay! =) received this in the mail though, my yellow motorcycle bag look-a-like. =) LOVE IT! its soooo soft and slouchy. i seem to be carrying it everywhere. yay! finally a decent looking big bag to store all my stuff! =)
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and again. =)
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gold belt =) thought it was very intricate and pretty.
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Shopaholic Blues
There are days that just start out all WRONG. For me, today started out just great, I was awoken by the voice of someone i love so dearly, who called to give me the great news that he is officially a licensed driver. Hearing the jubilance in his voice made my day, and when he hung up, i snuggled back into bed with a contented sigh. WRONG MOVE!
I was contemplating heading out to the city and harbow town for shopping either today, or tomorrow, but upon heading back to sleep, i woke up at 2 and decided, my adventures in the city shall wait till tomorrow. WRONG MOVE AGAIN.
I awoke, and headed to the kitchen to make a coffee frappe, and was happily in the midst of it, when my LAndlady, AKA my aunt, started nagging and tearing my brains out in the kitchen! she decided yesterday that she would head to the melbourne conventio.n with her friends, after some persuading from her sister in law, but WHAT THE HECK! now she is regreting it, and coming to me and NAGGING ANG NAGGING about burning the house down, dirtying her kitchen, dirtying her living room, her dining room, ALL OF THE ABOVE. She got me sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo irritated! accusing me of doing all of the above when she's gone. AHH! So i told her, since she is so worried, FINE! during those ten days, i'll move out! she'll prefer it that way, NO? and now, despite not having any food into my body yet, for the day, im sitting in the little corner of my room, and just wishing im home, or somewhere else, where i wouldn't have to deal with land ladies, throwing their weight around.
So u see, i SHOULD have gone out. the ONE day i decide to stay at home and rest, i suffer these repercussions! argh! so now u know why i never spend one whole day at home. its because i hate to deal with such things on a daily basis. Your house, is definitely not your home.
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AHhhhh My EYES!
I tumbled outta bed today at 12.15, and within 10 minutes i dressed in front of the heater and headed out to carousel for some grocery shopping, but naughty me couldn't resist popping into some of the stores along the way to cole.s. And my oh my... that was sucha wrong move! i promised myself never to buy anything at full price from valley gir.l because before long most of their stuff go on sale, and i always feel cheated paying full price for them, BUT i decided to pop in for a browse, and that was seriously a wrong move. Soooooo many things caught my eye there! their new season spring clothes are gorgeous and very bohemian inspired! Nevertheless, i walked defiantly outta there, with a longly look as i walked past the store on the way back, after grocery shopping. =) i think towards the end if the season, most of their stock will move over to harbour town, and i'll hv a gd time shopping there, at the discounted store. =) *crosses all my fingers*.
however, i couldn't resist this gorgeous boho necklace from sportsgir.l. Ive been eyeing it for a month, and it was the last piece at carousel, as well as gardencity, it set me back by 25 dollars though, pretty steep for a necklace, but do take a look and tell me wat u think eh? worth it? or not? i can still refund it as long as it has not been worn. =)
in the meatime its back to some boring studying for tom's classes. I pray for good weather tomorrow. i had to skip my classes on tue due to a thunderstore, terrible wind and possibly hail. And im off to defrost my fish for tonight's thai red curry fish for dinner. I have been eatting really unhealthily lately, and the lack of proper food into my body its slowly taking its toll.
oh yes! i got a few pieces of clothing as gifts recently, but im realli not sure if i should keep them, cause... they aren't styles that i would buy myself. ive taken a few shots, and will upload it soon, do give me ur point of view eh? would appreciate it loads. D, if u happen to surf on by, do drop me a comment k? would like to know wat u think. and oh yes, thanx angela for all ur kind comments, they always make my day. =)
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and the sportgirl necklace im crazy about! =) whatcha think?!
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should i remove the bow? im not sure if i should unpick it, or leave it there, u think? i added the flower for some detail. =)
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i dont know if i should keep this. its made of terry towel material, but wat do u think of the whole look?
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A few things i bought lately. =) i thought the necklace was soo quaint and interesting, and the bracelet caught me eye. =) wish the flash of the cam didnt wash out so much of the colour in the necklace though. =)
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an array of tees! =) realli love all of them, the top left green one i didn't fancy all that much, but i thought it would look realli nice with the blue corsage i bought from accessoriz.e a few weeks ago, so i bought it. and i dont usually buy polo tees, but this brown one, the colour, and the fit, was soo perfect for once! =) yay. and i especially like the graphic tees. =)
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i love this skirt! its sooo rara and girlie, =) and not too short too. i hate skirts that are too short, not practical for me. =) hee. and the belt above it, is actually a back sequinned belt, it jazzes up an outfit immediately! =)
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an long offshoulder top. =)
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Parting is such sweet sorrow
I just learnt from my mum, about my toapeh's will, and upon hearing it, my heart swelled with so much sadness, love and appreciation for this man, who's heart has always been so sweet and soft. I will never forget about his sweet sweet care and concern for me all these years. Its a small amount, but its not the money that matters. the fact that he has loved me so much, all these years, and his love and care for me that touches my soul.
I will always remember this sweet, caring, thoughtful, forgiving and kindhearted man, who never fails to remember people less fortunate then him, who never complains about how hard life is for him, who never carries a grudge, who always welcomes everyone with open arms, who loves without expecting anything in return, who even cares about the little birds that he feeds on a daily basis because he cares about them too. Such love, from a man who has so little, and yet so much to give.
"Professor" James, Toapeh... My Toapeh, the grandfather i never had, till we meet again, I love you, have always loved you, and i always will. I Thank God for blessing me, with you, all these 21 years of my life.
I bid you a sweet Goodbye... Till we meet again...
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Friday August 12th 2005 0330am
The homecoming of my beloved Toa Peh. I will always love and miss u my beloved Toa peh.
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The poncho from the previous day, thought i'll pin it like this, does it look queer? =)
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this is the double top i bought from the other day. =)
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i bought the pearl necklace, cause the velvet ribbon ties were just so unique, my friend j talked me into it, and im glad she did =), she's really into pearls and looks realli sweet in them, where else i wonder if i can carry it off =). love the pink flower too, goes with quite a bit of my stuff.
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this star keychain, i purchased the day before yesterday at the city. i didnt buy anything that day. =) just this little star that i like a huge deal, wondering if i should get the red one too, should i? hmm
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Recently, im in love with accessories, and accessoriz.e is the main source of it. =) i seem to be highly taken up by key rings lately, and this is my latest purchase. both sides have the flower embossed on it, and i thought it looked absolutely too sweet to resist. u think?
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and my all time greatest splurge, EVER. a new phone i bought over ebay. =) the classic samsun.g t500, in ruby red, and diamentes! love it! =) ive been liking this phone ever since it was launched, i cant believe i have it. =) its realli so small and compact, packs a mean battery, and oh so gorgeous in my eyes. =)
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when i saw this there, i was soooo happy! cause i previously wanted to get it when it was full price, but didnt manage to, as they ran outta stock! so when i saw it, YAY! =) a cream cardigan. it looks much much much better worn onthe body. =) so versatile this piece, as its sleeveless, it'll go with formal, with the pin if i want the more formal dinner party look.=) and much more casual, when its not pinned. =) pretty? =) oh yes, i forgot, all the pieces i listed, are oz 7 dollars. so all these cost me only 28! =) Yay! a nice bargain. that's what i love abt oz. when its cheap, its realli cheap =)
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this double top was another last piece in the store! hmm, i seem to have an affinity with last pieces =). thought it was pretty interesting with the tank underneath and an offshoulder sheer pink top above it. u think? my housemate didnt like it. she thinks its too funky.... but i likeeee, u think? =)
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when i went to grab groceries, i happened to pop by this store, which had a clearance sale going on. i didnt expect to get anything, as i had stepped in previously and came out empty handed. however, i was pleasantly surprised =) i came out with 4 items. for starters, a pink cute poncho. hmm i know that ponchos are not popular in Singapore, and most people are probably going to look at me funny when i wear it, but who cares eh? =) when u like something, what's there to stop u, dont u think? and the best part, its made of knitted material? so its just nice for singapore, not too thick to wear arnd. and i have a few ideas on how a brooch, and a few tugs here and there, will turn it into a pretty interesting shrug/cadigan. =) pretty..... and the purple camisole (which came with matching undies) caught my eye too, another last piece! =) i couldn't resist the pretty little purple flowers and the velvet straps. =)
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Accessoriz.e was having a half price sale!! YAY!!! how could i resist, realli! =) so in i went, and guess wat, i was there for an hour! looking at all the little trinkets that were there! sooo pretty! i ended up with: 2 corsages, one of a flower, which is more classy and formal, and the other, a more casual fun one. so cute! and i absolutely could not resist the 2 bracelets, i loved the round gold boho one immediately, and to my surprise it actually FIT my pathetic wrist! this is because i have pathetically thin wrists, that hardly any bracelets fit me! and the other heart bracelet, i couldnt resist, and got it the next time i went back to the store as i thought it was soooo swweet. to top it off i couldn't resist the pretty key chains as well! i thought it would be soo pretty and eye catching to hang then on the handles of my many handbags. the strawberry, rhinestoned stars, and pink handbag. =) last buy not least, a black classy hair tie, and a gorgeous slinky striped sash from sportsgirl, the last piece, on sale, at 5 dollars! yay! =) i love accessories!
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Sick Puppy Out Loose
it took only a week. Yes. only one week and im sick. down with a bad cold and with the chilly weather, and hot heaters, going in and out of hot rooms and into the cold nights, its been really hard to shake off this darn cold. and when i tumbled outta bed today, i felt really out of sorts. But nevertheless, i had to head out to go get groceries, or else the week would start out even worse, with only instant noodles to my name. Anyhoo, went to carousel and grabbed some things =) whipped up some tuna pasta for lunch, and for dinner, i was just too tired and had no appetite for any proper food, so i downed some cranberry juice, and some fish nuggets, and right now, i seem to be developing a cough too. =( and the cherry on top of the pie? i have 5 hours of NON_STOP classes tomorrow. Goodness. i really pray for grace to get through tomorrow.
anyhoo, on to happier things, since ive been back, ive done a little retail therapy. =) pics later.
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